You\’re Not In Kansas Anymore, You\’re In Seattle

Behold the Emerald City. No, you won’t find any flying monkeys or a yellow brick road, but if Seattle needed another catchy gimmick, it could lay claim to the rights to some of the flavors of THE WIZARD OF OZ. The city is poised to become the next big thing, the new West Coast phenomenon. Well, kind of.

Cram It All In, SF-Style

Why beat a dead horse? It’s messy and never makes for good copy. To be sure, San Fran is a super keen city. Yeah, it’s crowded and overpriced and murder to drive through, but there are a fistful of upsides as well. First off, get out of the car and get on the Muni or BART or any number of public transport options on the slate. Driving in Frisco is a fiasco waiting to happen.

Dead Horses and San Francisco

Beating a dead horse is no one’s idea of a good time. And it never makes for great copy. To be sure, San Fran is a super keen city. Yeah, it’s crowded and overpriced and murder to drive through, but there are a fistful of upsides as well. First off, get out of the car and get on the Muni or BART or any number of public transport options on the slate. Driving in Frisco is a fiasco waiting to happen.

Seattle: Rain Soaked and Still Humming

Sure, the Pacific Northwest is green. Yeah, there are lots of trees. Yeah, it’s lovely. Yeah, it rains a lot — a real lot. It rains so much Seattle is lampooned as Drizzle City. It has consistently ranked among the top 10 most rainiest cities in the United States. If you like rain, if you think it’s romantic, Emerald City is you kind of town.

Re-Union Square, SF

It’s a literal square — three acres squared — and happens to be the heart of the City by the Bay. Ok, so it’s the commercial heart, pumping goods and store credit, but it’s still where Bay Area beatniks and brethren gather to spend — and spend big. It’s Union Square and it’s a glutted glitz-fest for the ages.

Gentrified Dandy: SF

Forget the hackneyed “leaving your heart” business. There was a time when San Francisco was tough as nails and replete with sails. It was the Paris of the West, the new metropolis of Manifest Destiny. If you wanted or needed the sweet thrills of a proper city, you went to San Francisco. It was a modern, imperial city, and was the largest, most hip, port on the United States Pacific rim. There was New York, Chicago, then San Francisco.

Fat is Now Fun

Nothing puts a damper on your day like an extra ten or twenty pounds slathered around your gut. Face it, being fat is no fun. Running is a bummer. Jumping is out of the question. And anything more than a brisk pace is asking a lot. Being fat is a stone cold drag. It limits your options in life and narrows your field of vision.

Sac: A Capitol Idea

How is it that some cities end up becoming capitols? Let’s take Sacramento, for instance. Well, it’s a long story — boiled down to 300 words. Give or take. Yeah, you can take your pick of big cities in the late, great Golden State. You’ve got San Fran in the north, LA in the south, and stragglers like San Diego and San Jose. So, right there that’s four massive cities Californians could have chosen from. Why Sac?

On Being Fat

Nothing puts a damper on your day like an extra ten or twenty pounds slathered around your gut. Face it, being fat is no fun. Running is a bummer. Jumping is out of the question. And anything more than a brisk pace is asking a lot. Being fat is a stone cold drag. It limits your options in life and narrows your field of vision.

Mind Your P’s and Q’s, Monterey Style

So it’s Monterey. So what? Between the poles of San Francisco and Los Angeles, California doesn’t have much to offer. It’s the Central Valley, fields of food, and slaughterhouses. You could drive miles and miles and wonder why you ever bothered with the late, great Golden State. Buck up, little lad or lady, and steer for the coast.

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